The Return of Hunding
posted Wed, 25 Feb 2004 13:29:45 -0800
A doctor finds a chest of runes and scrolls. reading a scroll aloud, he releases a monster who had been banished from this reality by the Spellbinders. the monstrous Hunding, a high temporal and arch foe of Sigmund, the Sailor.
The doctor greets Hunding and asks him for immortality as a reward for freeing him. His answer to the query is swift as Hunding kills him and eats his dead carcus. Then Hunding casts a locater spell to find the one he most wants to reward, Sigmund the sailor.
Talon: The Valley of Valhalla
posted Wed, 25 Feb 2004 13:11:57 -0800
Brightstar, the elf, was hunting unicorns in the Valley of Valhalla when he saw her by the river. She was filling her canteen for the journey home. She was a cleric, and she was beautiful. He decided he had to meet her. So he approached her smiling. as he reached the river's edge, a unicorn dashed between them and leapt over the river. Brightstar and the cleric, chased it as fast as they could.
after they crossed the river, they ran through a field and over a hill. As brightstar and the cleric reached the top of the hill, they saw the unicorn lying at the feet of a demon.
"No, Persius, Don't kill her!"
"It's too late now, Sapphyre," said the demon.
"WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU?!"
"Nothing my dear, she's just dinner," said the demon.
"How will you eat without your head?" asked Sapphyre. Sapphyre raised her sword to attack. The demon lifted his War Hammer. Brightstar drew his sword as well.
"How Dare You!"
A voice from the top of the hill startled them all. They turned to see Lillith, Queen of Demons. "Who dares kill my prey and ruin my hunt?"
"I killed her Mother. I was hungry."
"You killed my unicorn, Persius."
"Yes. Forgive me, please, Mother."
Lillith thought about the scenario for a second, then she fried the demon with dozens of lightning bolts.
"Now you are forgiven, my son," said Lillith. "Now bring my dinner home, and be quick about it." and with that said the 2 demons and the unicorn all vanished to the Netherworld.
"Damn, Demons," said Brightstar.
posted Tue, 24 Feb 2004 14:02:38 -0800
so one day Vern was walking along the beach when he found a flashlight in the sand. he picked it up and took it home. as he stepped inside, he called to his mother.
"Mom! Mom! Look what i found on the beach! Mom! oh well, i guess she stepped out!"
Vern wiped the dirt off the flashlight and tried to turn it on.
"Darn thing dont work." Vern opened the flashlight and looked inside. "No wonder it dont work, it dont have no batteries..."
suddenly, a djinni appeared before Vern.
"o mighty master, you have freed me from my prison. i shall grant you three wishes."
Vern looked at the djinni then walked to the door.
"uh yeah, right. hey, Peter Pan lives next door, you want to go visit him?"
Vern looked at the djinni, but it was gone.
"Hey, Maybe he was a djinni... ok, three wishes huh? let me see... i wish i had a coke." suddenly a coca-cola appeared in his hand, startling him.
"Wow, it worked! Man! ok! ok... 3 wishes... uh, uh, i didnt mean that... er, i wish i had never wished that." instantly, the coke disappeared. and Vern stood there looking at his empty hand.
"Awesome! Man! awesome... wait a minute! thats 2 wishes... i wasted 2 wishes and now the djinni is gone. god i've only got one wish left."
Vern slaps himself on the forehead.
"dang it, i've only got 1 more wish left... god, i'm stupid!... 1 wish out of 3... dang it, i wish i'd never been born!"
lost 1 mind
posted Thu, 19 Feb 2004 13:37:37 -0800
answers to the name stupid
if found please mark fragile and send to
death by marriage
posted Tue, 17 Feb 2004 12:47:13 -0800
life sux and then u die
being married to u was like death
i died of loneliness every night
spending endless nights alone
watching the movies i rented
for us to watch together
each day you put me down
and another piece of me died
died of loneliness
the worst kind of death
death by marriage
once upon a time....
posted Tue, 17 Feb 2004 12:39:20 -0800
making love was fun once upon a time
i guess it seemed that way because i thought that u were mine
i didnt know then that deep down inside
your heart belonged to someone else
and all the talk was lies
lies based on lies
and bigger lies that followed
it was easy for you to lie to me
because your heart is hollow
like the promises you made to me
thru the years
empty like our marital bed
that i'm alone in here
i've been alone
since the day we married
your heart was always somewhere else
the truth was always buried
ode to the vampire slayer
posted Wed, 11 Feb 2004 13:21:25 -0800
small lil girl
how are you this morn?
into each generation
a slayer is born
you must save the world
you must prowl the night
you must keep the weak
from the creatures of the night
small lil girl
guardian of man
you patrol the streets
with a piece of wood in your hand
small lil girl
walk thru the night
protect us from the monsters
until the morning light
posted Fri, 06 Feb 2004 09:47:42 -0800
run thru my mind
from time to time
if i can find a pen and paper
i can make them mine
if not they are lost
in the sands of time
crash like waves
on the shores of my mind
if i can catch them
i can share them
preserve them for all time
if not they are lost
and they may never again return
never be heard
never be mine
lost forever in time
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 13:35:46 -0800
stepping stones on the river of life
we leap from one to the next
hoping not to fall in and get swept away by the rapids
swept into the abyss
and lost forever
each stone brings us
closer to our goals
but if we fall we have to
start at the shore again
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 13:24:22 -0800
eternally saved in time
captured by words
captured by rhymes
a look back at a point in history
now and forever
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 13:17:07 -0800
i am the daydreamer
dreaming of other times
fantasy existences that will never be
happier days that i will never see
the more i have the more i need
y r ppl so nosey?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 11:25:18 -0800
why are people so nosey??? dont you hate those jerks who ask personal questions? invade my privacy, please!
how do u look kool when somebody is too nosey? fighting is un kool so just answer, "getting any?" with, "oh honey, yes! i found this big strong quarterback with blue eyes! wow, talk about tight ends!!"
that should shut the nosey pervert up!!!
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 11:20:01 -0800
Bugs Bunny was arrested today for impersonating a policeman, and defying the law of gravity. Elmer Fudd, prominent hunter in the area said, "He is a menace to society and day shood wock him up and thwow away de key."
When asked about the charge of defying the law of gravity, Bugs replied, "You see, I never studied law."
what do u call a chicken with no feathers?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 11:05:36 -0800
what do u get if u cross candy with a rock band?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 11:04:41 -0800
if lil girls become big girls,...
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 11:03:00 -0800
if lil girls become big girls, and lil dogs become big dogs, what do lil fish become?
What do u get if u cross 2 expensive suits with a baby?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:58:22 -0800
gucci, gucci, goo
what do you get if you cross deodorant with a rock group?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:57:15 -0800
what did Queen Kong say to King Kong?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:56:01 -0800
excuse me, is that a bugle boy you are eating?
what do you call a camel at the north pole?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:54:39 -0800
what kind of aids do doctors get?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:53:52 -0800
telling the horses apart
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:51:18 -0800
BJ and DD went riding every day, but they always had trouble telling their horses apart. So one day, BJ clipped off a piece of her horse's ear. The next day, DD's horse caught its ear on some barbed wire. The next day, DD cut her horse's tail short, but when they went riding, BJ caught her horse's tail in a bush, so that evening they measured their horses. From that day on, they never had any trouble telling the white horse from the black horse.
why did the priest become upset with his son`s teacher?
posted Thu, 05 Feb 2004 10:36:32 -0800
his son asked his teacher what comes after K in the dictionary and the teacher told him to go to L.
the legend of the old ones
posted Sat, 24 Jan 2004 11:16:05 -0800
the legend goes that a long time ago in a world far, far away, the old ones ruled the clans of man, teaching them to hunt and fish and make fires and cook. teaching them how to protect themselves from the cold winters and enemy tribes. as time passed, man learned to care for his own and he resented being ruled by the gods, so he turned on them... bad move...
posted Thu, 22 Jan 2004 12:38:16 -0800
hey baby its me
just wanted to tell you
hey and i love you
cant stop thinking of u
all day long
i dream of you
morn til night
what can i do?
im so deeply in love with you
i love u
u must be tired
cause u run thru my mind all day
youre the one i want
this love wont go away
dont know what to do
i love u
God is God
posted Tue, 20 Jan 2004 14:23:34 -0800
I know God is God
and God dont ever change
God is God
and He always will be God
He's God all over these 4 walls
God all over this floor
God all over the ceiling
God all over that door
He was God in the garden of Eden
God in the Red Sea
God on top of Mt. Sinai
God at Calvary
He's God all over this county
God all over this state
God all over this country
He's God, there's no debate
He's God at the wall of China
God in the ring in Spain
God in the Amazon Basin
God in the Nullarbor Plain
He's God of the moon above us
God of Saturn's rings
God of Halley's Comet
God of everything
brand new body
posted Tue, 20 Jan 2004 14:13:41 -0800
i'll have a brand new body
when i walk thru heavens gate...
i'll have a brand new body
you know that i can hardly wait
and i'll have brand new eyes
when i see my blessed Lord...
yes i'll have brand new eyes
so i can see the streets of gold
well i'll have brand new legs
when i go running down the street...
yes i'll have brand new legs
and when i run i won't get beat
i'll have a brand new voice
that'll never miss a chord...
i'll have a brand new voice
singing praises to the Lord
Let Him Be There
posted Tue, 20 Jan 2004 14:05:53 -0800
wherever u go
wherever u may wonder in your life
surely u know
god is gonna be there
leading u thru
and going thru the changes in your life
helping u thru
everything u do
let him be there in your morning
let him be there in your night
let him take whatever's wrong
and make it right
let him take u up to heaven
all his joys to share
all he asks u
is let him b there
he died on a tree
to take away the sins of u and me
he gave his own life
so we could be free
he shed his blood
the sacrificial lamb
for all man
and if u are saved
u can see him up there
one day u wake up
posted Tue, 20 Jan 2004 13:40:07 -0800
one day you wake up
and your memories are like dreams
and the woman who said she'd love you forever
and she'd never leave you is gone
and she won't let your daughter come and stay with you
or visit because "he said no"
and you wonder "who the hell is he?"
what gives him the right to take my daughter away from me?
and in that moment of clarity
your life changes forever
and you have to pull the knife out of your back
and go on with your life
and you wish you hadnt spent
so many years being the faithful one
and thinking that it meant something
and now that youre old and fat and losing your looks
and your best years are behind you
now you will be alone forever
its too late to find someone else now
thanks for everything dear
Lord of the Dark
posted Tue, 20 Jan 2004 13:27:02 -0800
Night at last
the vicious sun has gone to sleep
the blue sky faded to black
the twinkling stars appear like angels watching the city
feeding time again
i am the King of the Night
the Lord of the Dark
i rule the streets at night
feeding on the evil
here i am god
the people on the streets
people scratch their heads but no one misses them much
my little meals on legs
scum of the earth
the dealers and pimps
thugs and thieves
no one will miss them
worthless wastes of space
only good for one thing
tonight i rule the streets
in the morning i will sleep
i am the night owl
God of the Dark
Master of the streets
Tonight i feed and tomorrow will be a brighter day
thanks to me
the Lord of the Dark
1 prayer away
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:35:05 -0800
sometimes life seems so unfair
and it seems like there's no one who cares
all my friends have turned away
and there's nothing to do but pray
o burdens get so heavy and sometimes i may stray
no matter how far i may roam
there's a friend only one prayer away
o it seems like when it rains it pours
and my burdens they multiply
but when i fall beneath my load
i can call to my lord on high.
a better place
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:34:09 -0800
a woman lived a short life in this cruel world.
she never had much to her name but a boy and a girl.
whenever u would see her she had a smile on her face.
then one day the master called her to a better place.
there's a better place than this
where streets are made of gold
where milk and honey's flowing free
and it never gets too cold.
and all year long they pick their fruit
right off the vine
o heaven is a better place
than man will ever find
in egypt, they've found many tombs filled with jewels and gold
that belonged to some rich man there and their value could not be told,
but there's a better place where the treasure's on the vine
and it can't be lost by the hands of man or by the sands of time.
the treasures there arent just the food,
there is beauty beyond compare.
there is no grafiti on the walls
no drugs are sold up there
and u can walk the streets at night and no homeless ever find.
o heaven is a better place than man will ever find.
now friend one day u might stand upon my earthly grave,
but please don't think of me as dead. just say i moved away.
i'll leave one day
it won't be long
reservations are already made,
and i'll leave my leaky, drafty home for a better place.
gonna be a xmas party
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:32:36 -0800
gonna be a xmas party over in the gloryland. lots of gifts will be given. join us if u can. gonna be gospel singers, singing christmas songs. gonna be a xmas party all year long
the tree of life will be blooming
right in golden square
angels gathered 'round it
singing praise up there
lifting their voices high
singing praise in song
gonna be a christmas party
all year long
the buffet tables are waiting
and milk and honey flow
the gereatest treats you'll ever taste
and you never will grow old
friends and loved ones around ye
that never go away
gonna be a xmas party
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:29:24 -0800
here am i
won't you hear
my humble cry
eat that bread
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:28:05 -0800
eat that bread, eat that bread... that bread is the body of jesus and it will keep u well fed -so eat that bread...
drink that wine, drink that wine... that wine is the blood of jesus and it will give u eternal life -so drink that wine...
and 4 horses appeared
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:27:15 -0800
...and four horses appeared upon the earth and they that sat upon them. and their names were poverty, sickness, disease, and war. and they attacked the world mercilessly. and the four horsemen were the vanguard for it. that evil thing. this omnipotent monster known as death. and they methodically brought prey to the beast. prey for it to feed upon. pray for your souls lil children that the beasts of apocalypse dont set sights on you.
good bye, cruel world
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:26:26 -0800
good bye cruel world- im going home- ill live with christ- it wont be long- he shed his blood- at calvary- good bye cruel world- ive been set free
good bye cruel world- im leaving here- dont weep for me- be of good cheer- life here is hard- pleasures are few- im going home- hope to see u
good bye cruel world- im going now- earthly friends betray u any how- they slander and steal- and lie to no end- then call themselves saints and call u their friend
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:22:26 -0800
i came to have a good time
lifting up my lord
he gave me life and when i die
he'll give me my reward
he filled my life with happiness
and filled my heart with joy
if youre not havin a good time
youre workin for the wrong ole boy.
well im sorry if it bothers you when i raise my hands to pray
and im sorry if i wake u up when i shout and dance away
and im sorry if it worries u when the master speaks thru me
but there's 1 key to happiness and jesus is the key
i wandered alone
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:20:47 -0800
i wandered alone thru life's lonely forest.
no friend could i find to welcome me in.
the summer was gone
the winter approaching
then i met a wise man who led me from sin.
i want You back, Lord
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:19:05 -0800
you're all i ever wanted. you're all i ever needed, o Lord. i'm down on my knees now, cause i want u back!
it's hard to say i'm sorry. its hard to make up for the things i've done. a lesson i've learned too well, o Lord. i wandered far away, Lord. i'm trying to figure out just what to do. i'm going crazy without you.
you're all i ever wanted. you're all i ever needed. so tell me what to do now, cause i want u back.
all my friends remember the way i used to be back then with you. i used to smile the day away. i told em not to worry. i said that everything would be alright. i didn't know then that they were right.
you're the 1 i want. you're the 1 i need. Lord, what can i do? you're the 1 i want. you're the 1 i need. tell me, what can i do??
Ode to Linda
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:15:55 -0800
last weekend, you were laughing with us- today youre in the ground- but you'll always be a part of us- til we are heaven bound-
u never criticised us- u always loved us- everyone- and u were lots of fun to be around- cause you'd accept us as we were-
u had some problems now and then- and we helped u thru them all- but not because we had to- because u were a friend to us all-
u babysat my brother- and u were the babysister of my mom- and u gave this world 2 great kids and u gave those kids a home- when i was little we sang together in church on Sunday nights- and other times u proved that u could hold your own in playful fights-
never lazy, always working- now in heaven youve been hired- maybe youre our guardian angel- or maybe you hang out stars at night- 1 things sure- that there in heaven all the angels are a lot like u-
we will all meet someday- at the family reunion feast- and i know that when we get there- you will have dinner ready to eat .
in memory of my aunt Linda
Lean on God
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:14:26 -0800
if u have a problem u dont understand, u will need somebody to lean on. just call on the master, he'll give u a hand. we all need somebody to lean on.
lean on god, when youre not strong, and he'll be your friend. he'll help u carry on. no, it wont be long til youre gonna need somebody to lean on...
Let the Son shine in
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:13:40 -0800
let the SON shine in.
face him with a grin
winners never lose and
sinners never win
so let the son shine in
face him with a grin-
open up your heart
and let the Son shine in!
Lord Save Me
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:12:56 -0800
peter walked on the water to be by jesus side
he took his eyes off the lord and watched the rolling tide.
he lost his faith in jesus and sinking down he shied,
and then in a panic "Lord, save me," peter cried.
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:11:41 -0800
i want the lord to be my director to lead me down this road so long to show the way that's straight and narrow and take me to my heavenly home
the stage was set there at calvary they nailed him to a rugged cross he showed the way that i must follow he gave his life to save the lost
a scene took place down at an altar down on my knees i earned my prize when i was saved then i rejoiced there it brought tears to my critics' eyes
1 happy day there'll be a gathering to give awards for jobs well done i'll stand and thank my dear director for without him i couldn't have won
and on my journey home
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:09:44 -0800
and on my journey home, i'll not look on the shoulders, and on my journey home, ill not be turned aside, and on my journey home i'll not let satan stop me, for i'm going home to be by His side
on my journey i've seen others change directions. ive seen others who have pulled off on the side. but i'm determined that i won't let satan stop me, for i'm heading for a mansion in the sky.
while the people of this world hunt earthly treasures, with an emptiness so deep inside their hearts. i don't have to search for wealth beyond all measure. i've got a greater treasure in my heart
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:06:33 -0800
only god can take away your sorrows- only god can wash away your sin- only god can wake you up tomorrow- only god can make u whole again
now ol satan is working hard to get u- and your family is not out of his sights- he'll twist around the words of god to work for him and make u think that anything's alright!
now ol satan will tell u not to worry- its ok- u were born that way- just remember, he's th master of deception- and he can quote the scripture any day
dont let satans demons overtake u- jesus can take them all away- they will gladly lead u to the devil- and laugh at your torment all the way!
Ode to Roger
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:05:39 -0800
father, preacher, grandpa, son- your life had only just begun- u served your father- served him well- and his word you'd proudly tell- 49 years you labored here- guiding your lost and lonely peers- now your reward has come nigh- a retirement paradise in the sky
in memory of Roger Mitchell, my uncle.
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:03:30 -0800
rolled to the side
on day one
before the sun could rise
they came to see the son
but they did not stay long
the stone was moved
and jesus was gone
on the first day of the week before the rise of sun, mary and martha went to the tomb they came to see jesus but jesus was gone the stone was moved and nobody was home.
satan tried to keep him in he tried with all his might he had guards posted round him day and night, but satan discovered that he can never win. the stone was rolled away and he could not keep him in.
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:01:17 -0800
there's a lil church in our neighborhood. i was passin by it and i wasnt feelin good. i heard the music playin so i stepped inside the door. people were a singin and a runnin round the floor an they were shoutin. yeah they were shoutin.
that lil church was a shakin as the people stomped their feet. they raised their hands and praised his name, you could hear them on the street as they were shoutin.
well i listened to the music and i listened to them sing they sang just like the angels and i had to tap my feet. well soon i clapped my hands and then i sang along. by the time i left that buildin all my bad feelings were gone an i was shoutin. yeah i was shoutin.
that lil church was a shakin as i clapped and stomped my feet. i raised my hands and praised his name. you could hear me on the street as i was shoutin.
well jesus is my savior and he has been since that spring. and when i die, ill go to hear the angels as they sing. an i know that theyll be singin a happy joyous song and we'll have all eternity to clap and sing along. and we'll be shoutin. yeah we'll be shoutin.
the pearly gates will be shakin as the people stomp their feet. we'll raise our hands and praise his name all over the golden streets, and we'll be shoutin. yeah, we'll be shoutin.
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:59:35 -0800
i can party all night long. raising hell until the dawn. i can break all the commandments ever made. i can live the way i please. never dropping to my knees. cause i cant lose my salvation anyway.
i can cuss, and smoke, and drink. i can cheat and never think. cause thats what a preacher told me one day.
the sounds of torment
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:58:00 -0800
there'll be gnashing there of teeth... people sobbing in their grief... liars in the lake are burning... and the back-sliders are yearning... for the days before they turned away... and sealed their fates... these are the sounds of torment...
and the people bowed and prayed... dear god save us from this fate... but they found it was too late... and they could not reach the gate... and the people saw their loved ones rejoicing around the throne... and, in pain, they groaned... these are the sounds of torment...
o please sinner turn away... from your wicked, evil ways... and accept him as your saviour... and u can be in his favor... and when the last trumpet sounds and this old world is passed away... on that new day... u won't hear the sounds of torment...
Thank God that Jesus died at Calvary
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:57:06 -0800
thank god that jesus bled at calvary. thank god that he shed his blood for me. if he had not bled and died, i could not stand by his side. thank god that jesus bled for you and me.
thank god- thank god- thank god that jesus died- thank god that he cried at calvary. thank god they pierced his side. for my soul, he gave his life. thank god he shed his blood to set us free
thank god that jesus cried at calvary. thank god that he shed a tear for me. i was dying in sin, til he paid my entrance in. thank god that jesus cried for u and me.
thank god that jesus died at calvary. thank god that he suffered such agony. if he had not took my place, i would never see his face. thank god that jesus died for you and me.
that old man...
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:55:31 -0800
that old man... he's insane... he says that its gonna rain... now who ever heard of water from the sky... that old man's a crazy guy...
that old man... he's a nut... he says there will be a flood... he says that we're all gonna die... that old man's a crazy guy..
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:52:40 -0800
Lord, i know that i'm not worthy of the love you give to me. and i cant say that i'd blame you, if you turned your back on me. this big old world is full of strangers who dont care a lot for me, and yet i know that thru the dangers youll be right beside of me.
i guess you must have cried 1000 rivers for the ones still lost in sin, and if they would simply ask you. you would gladly let them in.
lord i thank you for compassion, you didnt have to give to me, and lord thanks to your salvation my burdened heart has been set free. i'd like to thank you for this morning when you let me wake again. another day that u have give me, to save my loved ones out in sin.
what would u give?
posted Sat, 17 Jan 2004 11:51:45 -0800
what would u give to live in a land,
where you'll never die and never lose a hand?
where you'll never grow old and never grow tired;
never go to work and never get fired?
everybody's your best friend. peace and joy will never end.
no more wars and no more lies
no more hunger or "good-byes"
no more thieves, and no more crimes
no more deadlines
no more time
no more bills to have to pay
no more pain to come your way
what would you give to live in that neighborhood today???
art mart #grandopening
1 month ago